About a year ago, we released a list of magical items that had been homebrewed for our Storm King’s Thunder campaign. Since then, we have been busy crafting new, over-the top-items that are intended to allow players to go above and beyond the norm without tossing the game into a dumpster and setting it on fire.
With that said, we just created a new magical item that is a little more than just extra. In fact, it is easily the most complex magical item any of us have created. So, without further ado, we present to you the Wand of Wondrous Chaos – a super-charged version of one of the game’s already most audacious magical items: the Wand of Wonder.
The Wand of Wondrous Chaos
This mysterious, 2′ wand is made of pale mithril encrusted with a rainbow of unidentifiable alien gems. At its head floats a priceless multifaceted and multicolored gemstone that cannot be moved from its position. This gem glows with an endlessly changing magical light that seems just as chaotic as the wand’s powers.
An inscription is engraved on the handle with each of its letters written in a different language. If translated, it reads: “Only a being who embodies true chaos will be worthy to wield this wand. Madness will await all others who try.”
The Wand of Wondrous Chaos – Legendary item
Requires attunement by an Arcane class plus a special requirement: Anyone the DM deems not chaotic enough suffers 8d8 physic damage and must make a Wisdom Save at DC 20 or acquire a random personality quirk/insanity until they receive a cure insanity spell.
All damage dealt by the wand is magical and all saves are DC 20 unless otherwise noted. All creatures summoned by the wand appear adjacent to the target. If that space is occupied, they appear in the next closest space of the caster’s choice. If no such space is available on the battle map, then the summoning fails. All summoned creatures will stay for 1d4+1 minutes or until the end of combat, whichever comes first. None of the effects of this wand require concentration, they function solely on duration.
The wand has 9 charges. While holding it, you can use an Action to expend 1 of its Charges and choose a target within 120 feet of you. The target can be a creature, an object, or a point in space. Roll d100 and consult the following table to discover what happens.
- 01-02: A 10’ x 10’ area beneath the target is now covered with canola oil, bananas and butter. Each creature standing in its area must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw or fall prone. A creature that enters the area or ends its turn there must also succeed on a Dexterity saving throw or fall prone.
- 03-04: The caster must make an attack on the target at +9 as a giant snow boulder drops on a single target for 3d6 bludgeoning damage. Hit on miss, the snow boulder explodes and everyone within 10 feet must make a dex save or take 4d6 cold damage and be soaking wet.
- 05-06: A single green force blast strikes a target without missing. It deals 5d4+5 bludgeoning damage and explodes in a shower of garbage. The target and everything else within 10′ now smell horrid for the next 1d10 rounds.
- 07-08: A bright burning ray fires from the wand in a 15 cone. Everyone in the area of effect must make a dexterity saving throw or suffer 6d6 fire damage, half on a successful save, which only burns the targets’ feet.
- 09-10: Make an attack roll at +9. On a successful hit, a witch on a broom crashes into one target for 4d12 force damage. The target must also make a con save or be stunned until the end of their next turn. On a miss, the witch instead crashes into the nearest wall.
- 11-12: One target is blasted with neon orange paint inflicting 5d8 poison damage, Con save for half. On a failed save, the target has -10 to any stealth check for the next 1d4 hours.
- 13-14: The caster is now affected by an alter person spell. However, no matter what form they take, they will be wearing a fake nose with a mustache and glasses. The nose and glasses don’t make any disguise they take on seem less believable.
- 15-16: Dishes, vases, windows and mirrors fall and explode in a 15 ‘ radius with a deafening crash for 6d8 thunder damage, Con save for half. Those who fail their save are deafened until the end of their next turn.
- 17-18: Targets within a 10’ wide, 50 ‘ long line are run over by a stampede of unicorns for 5d10 bludgeoning damage, Dex save for half. On a failed save, the target is knocked prone and covered in hoofprints and glitter.
- 19-20: Bandages appear on all friendly targets within 60’ healing everyone 4d8 +5.
- 21-22: You dramatically belch forth a fiery breath weapon: 6d6+6 fire damage in a 30’ cone. Dex save for half.
- 23-24: Everyone within 30 feet of the target must make a Con save or take 6d8 force damage. Those who failed the save are affected by intense crushing gravity reducing all of their physical attack damage by 50% until the end of their next turn.
- 25-26: It rains rotten eggs. Everyone within 15’ of where it was cast must make a Con save or spend one round incapacitated as they throw up their guts. Creatures who are immune to poison or being grossed out automatically succeed on their saving throw.
- 27-28: A small cloud follows you around flashing with electrical energy for 1d4+1 rounds. At the start of your turn, it randomly strikes a hostile target within 30’ with its bolts causing 8d6+6 lightning damage, Dex save for half. Anyone struck by the bolts is left with their hair standing straight up for 10 minutes.
- 29-30: A huge trap door opens at the feet of the target. It must make a Dex save or fall into a dark, inescapable room for the next 1d6 +1 rounds, when it returns to the same space it left. Creatures larger than huge in size are immune to its effects.
- 31-32: The caster turns into a living 10′-tall statue for the next 1d4+1 rounds. During this time, their movement is halved but they gain resistance to all damage types except psychic. Additionally, they can make one physical punch attack at +10 per round, 3d12+8 damage.
- 33-34: A herd of Oliphants runs in a straight 10′ wide line for 100′. Anything in that line takes 10d8 bludgeoning damage and must make a Strength save or be knocked prone. This effect can be used to break down a single castle wall or gate. However, if the Oliphants run into a solid object that cannot be trampled or broken through, like a solid cave wall, it causes the effect to end.
- 35-36: The target and everything within 20′ take 10d6 piercing damage, Dex save for half, as they are attacked by flying piranhas for piercing damage.
- 37-38: The caster may choose a form of energy. They are given a goofy magical outfit that provides immunity to that damage type. For example, if lightning is chosen, they might receive a hat with a lightning rod and a rubber raincoat. This protection lasts 1d6+5 rounds and the outfit fits over any other existing gear they may be wearing without issue while its effects are active.
- 39-40: The caster makes a +10 attack roll as an adamantine anvil drops on the target for 6d10+8 bludgeoning damage. On a hit, the target must make a con save or be stunned until the end of their next turn.
- 41-42: A door opens up from nowhere and blasts the target with a 50′ cone of howling freezing wind and chunks of ice. The can be directed as the caster chooses so long as the target is in its area of effect. Everything affected takes 8d8 +5 damage, Con save for half. Any creature reduced to 0 hit points by this effect is frozen solid.
- 43-44: The target and everything within 15′ takes 6d10 physic damage, Intelligence save for half. On a failure, the creature loses concentration on any spell it was concentrating on and all attack rolls and skill checks are made at -3 until the end of their next turn due to a horrible migraine. Any target with an intelligence less than 3 or that doesn’t have a head, like a slime, is immune to these effects.
- 45-46: The area is bathed in an array of beige, lime green, and mustard yellow light causing all targets within 20′ to take 9d6 radiant damage, Con save for half damage. On a failed save, the target goes blind for the next 1d4+1 rounds from being exposed to such horrifically tacky colors.
- 47-48: A 9′ 6″ dark blue man wearing a white and gold Toga throws a Thunderbolt at a target of your choice. The bolt is 5′ wide and has a range of 100′. It inflicts 12d8 lightning damage and everything within 10′ must make a DC 22 Con save or be stunned until the end of their next turn from a deafening clap of thunder.
- 49-50: You disappear in a cloud of smoke like a ninja and remain invisible as per a Greater Invisibility spell for the next 1d6+1 rounds.
- 51-52: You and two other targets of your choice within 60′ feet sprout wings and gain a flying speed of 60′ for the next 2d4+2 rounds.
- 53-54: A mini sun appears, but it is obviously fake with a creepy-looking happy face that will haunt everyone’s dreams. At the end of the round, it explodes in a 100′ radius. Everyone in the area takes 10d6 fire damage, Dex save for half damage.
- 55-56: The target is wrapped up in a straight jacket and under the effect of a hold person or monster spell, whichever applies to their creature type.
- 57-58: The caster and up to 1d4 friendly targets within 60‘ become Hasted as per the spell for 5 minutes. This effect does not require concentration. All affected individuals also become extremely hyper.
- 59-60: A storm giant appears and makes two attacks at the target with +14 to hit for 6d6 +9 bludgeoning damage. It vanishes at the end of the round. If a storm giant cannot fit into the location summoned, then it vanishes in a clap of thunder that 12d8 to all hostile targets within 30’, Con save for half damage.
- 61-62: The end of the wand plays the most inharmonious tune ever heard by mortal ears! All hostile creatures within 10’ of the target must make a Wisdom save or be affected by a confusion spell. (Alternatively, all targets could be struck by copies of The Silmarillion, which would produce the same effect.)
- 63-64: Creatures catch fire from spontaneous combustion in a 40′ area centered on the target. Everyone affected looks burned up like matches afterward. All hostile creatures in the area take 8d8+10 fire damage, Dex save for half damage. If the save is failed, then the targets continue to burn for 3d8 fire damage for the next 1d4 rounds unless they spend an action to stop, drop and roll.
- 65-66: A target of your choice within 60’ is healed by an angel dressed as a doctor. After the healing is performed, they present their patient a bill for services rendered, which is payable immediately (the money simply disappears from the character’s inventory). The bill will be the character’s level times one thousand gold pieces or all of the character’s money, whichever is greater.
- 67-68: The target must make an intelligence save or be affected by a mental prison spell. However, the spell’s damage isn’t actually lethal but just makes the target miserable. If reduced to 0 hit points, the affected individual gives up and starts whining about how life isn’t fair. This makes them noncombative and uninterested in further combat unless attacked first for the next 24 hours.
- 69-70: You summon a medusa who considers the caster and their allies to be friendly. This creature will fight with the party to the end of the battle or remain with them for up to one hour, whichever comes first.
- 71-72: Lights begin flashing and music plays as the target is affected by Otto’s Irresistible Dance, causing them to break into a dance solo unless they make a Wisdom save of 16. However, for each player who opts not to use their move action to clap, add a cumulative +1 to DC until they stop clapping or the target successfully saves against the effect.
- 73-74: A pit fiend appears dressed as an attorney holding a briefcase. The fiend will serve the caster, including in combat. However, the fiend charges the player 500GP every 6 six seconds they remain in the caster’s service. The fiend dissipates in a cloud of fire and brimstone if defeated, dismissed or if the character goes broke.
- 75-76: A single target within 60’ is blasted with a disgusting blast of glowing neon green slime. The target will take 11d6+20 radiant damage with a DC 18 for half. In the following round, the slime forms into a glowing creature adjacent to the target. The creature is identical to a CR 8 large gray ooze except all of its damage is radiant. This creature will obey the commands of the caster for the next 1d4+1 minutes or the end of combat, whichever comes first. If destroyed, the creature explodes harmlessly but strains everything within 20’ a bright neon green.
- 77-78: A 15‘ wide burning vortex appears in the same square as the target. Creatures touched by the vortex take 8d8 fire damage, Dex save for half damage. Then they make a Str saving throw or be sucked inside the vortex. If sucked into the vortex, they are unable to take any actions during their round and receive an additional 8d8 fire damage with a Dex save for half. If the second save is failed, then when they are tossed into an adjacent square at the end of the round and are knocked prone. The burning vortex remains fixed in that location for the wand’s stranded duration.
- 80-81: Animate ?Objects upcast at level 7 – all objects talk, joke and have personalities until the spell ends.
- 82-83: Mass healing word on all friendly targets within 60’ as rainbows, sprinkles and gumdrops fall from the sky.
- 84-85: All friendly targets within 60 feet are hit with a grapefruit-sized blob of white liquid which is actually an application of Keoghtom’s Ointment.
- 86-87: In a flash of white light and cold air, you summon a frost giant from the Jarl’s guard. This giant is wearing plate mail, giving them an AC 18, and uses a halberd, giving it an additional 5’ in reach. Otherwise, this creature fights and behaves like a typical charming frost giant.
- 88-89: A rainbow is shot forth from the end of the wand in a 60’ cone as pre a Prismatic Spray. However, the caster can choose two effects of their choice to apply to the target or targets.
- 90: Everyone within 30’ is bitten by hundreds of undead mosquitos inflicting 12D8+10 necrotic damage with a Con save for half damage. Any living creatures who failed their save will have disadvantage on all Dex saves until the end of combat because they are incredibly itchy! The cloud vanishes at the end of the caster’s round.
- 91: The caster may make an attack roll at +10 at the target of their choice within 60′. If the roll succeeds, the target is struck in the head by a green and yellow creature with one eye and two antennae. Once the target is touched by the creature it has the same effects as a feeble mind spell with no effects on a miss.
- 9: Disintegrate cast at level 8. The green beam makes a sound like an original star trek phaser. If the target is destroyed by this spell, it vanishes with the same amount of visual elegance.
- 93: A large, floating, cloaked figure appears with a skeletal body and a large menacing scythe. This ghoulish figure flips the target off and then throws his scythe at them. This has the same effects as a Finger of Death spell except its damage is 10d8+30 and it does full damage regardless of their resistances.
- 94: The end of the rainbow crashes down as per a prismatic wall spell. The wall can be placed on hostile targets if you so choose.
- 95: The caster is affected by the ninth level spell Shape Change. However, any form they take will look goofy and borderline cartoony. This will not affect the abilities of the transformation in any way.
- 96: Hundreds of magical knives, darts and arrows strike everything within a 10’ cube of the target for 8d10 piercing damage, Dex save for half.
- 97: An explosion of color and energy infuses the targets of your choice within 60′ with the same benefits as a mass heal spell. Any characters brought to max hit points by this effect will also be under the effects of an Enhance Ability spell with the effect of their choosing.
- 98: The character is now wearing a ridiculous chromatic dragon costume of the variety of their choice. They may make a breath weapon attack as an adult dragon of that variety. Once the breath weapon has been used, the character’s appearance returns to normal.
- 99: A 20’ wide Iron Wall drops on everything within range of the target for 10d10 damage, Con save for half. If the creatures affected by this are completely covered by the wall, they are considered stunned and cannot take any actions and cannot be attacked themselves save by electricity. If a creature has been struck by the wall and wasn’t completely trapped by it or is larger than huge, then they are restrained. The wall vanishes at the end of the caster’s next turn.
- 100 (Inspired by the Knights of the Round Final Fantasy 7 summoning):
The target of your choice has won the grand prize as 8 of the greatest Wizards from your campaign world appear and make spell attacks on the target in this stunning cinematic cameo. If you don’t have a lineup ready, then might I suggest Mordenkainen, Ottoluke, Rary, Bigby, Blackstaff, Elimenster, Halaster, and Ellious (who is my campaign world’s version of Merlin and the creator of this wand). Each wizard attacks the target with a different damage type in order: Ice, acid, poison, lightning, thunder, fire, radiant and force. A DC 22 save means they take half damage for that attack.- 5d6 cold save vs Con
- 5d6 acid save vs Dex
- 5d6 poison save vs con
- 5d6 lightning save vs dex
- 5d6 thunder save vs Con
- 5d6 fire save vs Dex
- 5d6 Radiant Save vs Con
- 5d6 Force save vs Con
At Sunrise roll a d10 to determine the wand’s recharge rate:
- 1 regain only 1 charge
- 2 regain 1d4+1 charges
- 3-8 regains 2d6+1 charges
- 9 wand charges fully
- 10 wand is fully charged plus 1d4 +1 temporary charges over its maximum. Any unused charges over 9 vanish at the start of the next day
Final Thoughts
This is an item some DM’s wouldn’t touch with a 10′ stick if it had the hand of Vecna on the end of it. And we get it, because some players view anything homebrewed as dirty as a bite from a wererat with gingivitis. But please keep in mind that this item was designed for a 14th-level character who had already completed their main story arc. If you were to allow an item like this into a lower-level game, then its charges, DC and damage effects could be scaled as needed.
So, what did you think? Is it too complex or just too over the top? We would love to hear your thoughts about it or an item that you had or created that was more than just a little “extra.”