The 6 Habits of Highly Successful RPG Players

Greetings gamers from all systems, places and timelines.

Just like everyone believes they’re good drivers, most gamers believe they’re good – if not outright great – players. And while this may be true, what makes a truly great gamer is debatable. Some would provide evidence that they qualify with tales of their in-game deeds; instead, I would like to suggest that it should be based more on how they interact at the table, even a virtual one. For this reason, I’ve compiled a list of 6 behaviors all great players share to encourage some self-reflection in the rest of us. 

If you find something on this list you could improve on, then it will add to both your experience and that of your friends. If you have a player or are a player who already has all of these qualities, then I genuinely mean it when I say: That is fantastic. But never drink your own Kool-Aid! While gaming is about a great many things, one of them is constantly learning, growing and refining your skills. With that said, let’s have at it! 

Update: You can listen to the 3 Wise DMs discuss these tips in our latest podcast: 21 Things Wise DMs Want From Their Best RPG Players.

1. Be Involved, but Don’t Hog the Spotlight

When running a game, it’s definitely nice to have someone jump at the chances you give the party to both interact with the story and the environment. Unfortunately, you can run into a player who wants to be involved in every scene, dialogue and skill challenge. This can cause two different problems, neither of which you want on your hands as a DM. 

First, it can cause other players who normally have valuable things to contribute to become disconnected from the entire experience. What can be equally as bad is the second (which often stems from the first): When one or two players end up carrying every roleplaying scenario. Before you know it, the rest of the party has become comfortable with phoning it in. So, while it’s great that one of the players can sing, rap, juggle and dance, please don’t make the DM feel that they need to cut the lights during your performance because you’re in the middle of your fourth monologue. 

2. Know Your Character and Your Friends

One of the most awkward moments that can happen is when one player says to another many sessions into a campaign: “Hey you’re a barbarian, don’t you have advantage on Dex saves?” 

Now, if the player is level 2 or 3 and just received that ability, then I can see how it slipped through the cracks. But if that character is level 8 or 9 and the same scenario comes up, the real question is: Did they just forget it in the moment or did they forget it for the previous 14 games? In all fairness, this can happen to anyone who’s relatively new to the system. But seriously, friends don’t let friends forget their class abilities!  

3. Keep the Out-of-Game Knowledge Out of the Game

Back in the day, if something sensitive to the story was discovered, then we used to handle it by going into different rooms to share the info. These days, this isn’t always realistic and a good player needs to treat what’s happening in a scene they are not a part of with the distinction of, “Yes, I may know, but my character does not.” 

Some time ago, I was playing a wizard who wasn’t outright evil but also wasn’t afraid to read a nice big black book of forbidden secrets, either. And with that said, he made every effort to keep that on the down-low, which included not dressing like one of Voldemort’s Death Eaters. However, for no in-game reason, the other party members decided I couldn’t be trusted and followed me around like I was in the witness protection program. 

The best part was that my character wasn’t really hatching an evil scheme, and it became an inside joke between me and the DM. Eventually, my character started enjoying screwing with his party by making them think I was up to something. The only problem here is that it allowed the actual villains to run the table. 

4. Handle Defeat Gracefully

Sometimes things are not going to go your way in life or at the gaming table. While we have all been on the end of a DM plot device screw job where a level-15 NPC came to your house to kill your father when you were only 9 (and not level 9!), it can be a necessary part of the game. Sometimes a good plan is going to tank because of bad die rolls, unforeseen events, or just something that was overlooked.

As a DM, one of the worst things that can happen is to become afraid to allow your players to try something and fail. If the players can’t fail, then there’s no need for in-game prep, making allies or training to accomplish a mission because everything is already on bumper-bowling easy mode. Some of my best characters have been totally wrecked by a powerful NPC early in their career or in their backstory. Let me tell you, while the story of a comeback is timeless, few things are as sweet as revenge on someone who couldn’t deserve it more. 

5. Be Inspiring

Now I know this sounds really vague but hear me out.

Back in the day, a player named Garret joined one of my campaigns for the first time. With that group, it became quickly apparent there was a lot of talent present with player skills that ranged from rules experts to lore gurus and even roleplaying naturals. (Don’t even get me started on the creative backstories these players came up with!) 

But what distinguished Garret were two things. The first is that, while he may not have been the #1 player in any one of these areas, he was in the top 3 in all of them. Second, during the games, he exuded the feeling that he really wanted to be there and play. I look back at those times and wonder how the hell did I possibly run a game several times a week for months, if not years, and neither burned out nor ran out of material. 

After some reflection, such a thing can only be done when you have the right kind of players. The best ones continually feed both you and the plot with inspiration, much like a character who writes themselves because they are so developed. 

6. Encourage Everyone to Contribute

This last point may arguably be the most important as it pertains to not only how a player handles themselves in the game but how they work with their team. Nothing allows team chemistry to flourish more than having a player who encourages their teammates to be involved. Sure, the DM could (and should!) do it, but the DM can only encourage or hint at something so much. Then, if the bait isn’t taken, you have to table it and move on, at least for a time. Ultimately, having solid chemistry within your gaming group is something both new and veteran DM’s prize. 

When a player helps promote that chemistry, they are truly adding value to both the story and the table itself. It can be a struggle for players to get into both playing their character and the plot when one or more of their team members do not take an active role in the story. And I get it, some players are not actors or detectives and that’s fine. But when, as the DM, you’re presenting a new scenario, the party should have all hands on deck and a little player-to-player encouragement is always a big help.  

Conclusion 

Now of course there are other elements of being a great gamer that could have made the list. Some of these did not because they seem more intuitive, and the ones that did were actual issues we as DMs have experienced over the 5+ games we’re all actively running. Therefore, I would like to issue a challenge to anyone who is currently playing in a campaign: See if there is something on this list that you could improve on. 

Perhaps there is something you feel should have made the list that would make your team chemistry stronger? If that’s the case, we would love to hear what you came up with or what you, or one of your players, is struggling with.

Finally, remember that if anyone needs to improve on an aspect of their gameplay, it doesn’t mean that they are a weak player. Rather, like your character, you as the player are on a journey to become the best version of yourself who you possibly can be (at least when it comes to gaming)!